The C Story | William Wieland |
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves and C and G have an open 5th between them. After a few drinks the 5th is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar but the bartender is not convinced this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in the bar tonight." The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender who used to have a nice corporate job until his company down-sized, says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case as the E-flat takes off the suit (and everything else) and stands there au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror he is under a rest. The C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal however, the C is found innocent of any wrong doing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bass-less. |